I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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