I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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