in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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