Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
