Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
