..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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