All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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