I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY