Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs