Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think about you every night.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.