I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
time to smoke my breakfast
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
