I'm lost and stupid without you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
