I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
