she woke up with a sticky ear
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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