Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize