Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
