Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
