My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
