she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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