All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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