What a fucking waste of an outfit
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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