My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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