I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
