In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
