I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
