It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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