it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize