Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize