So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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