so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
