whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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