i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
