he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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