the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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