take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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