toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
