those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
