he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
