I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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