Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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