dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
