i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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