At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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