so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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