Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How naked do you want me to be?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
