When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize