He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
