drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
