I must be too annoying 4 u.
We're facebook friends in real life
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
