either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Your mouth is God's brothel.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
