A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
