Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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