So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
