Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Randomize
