the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
