yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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