I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
