I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
