Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
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Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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