WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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